For those of you who know me, you may be aware I got married one month ago. The road to marriage for us has been a wonderful one, though not without its obstacles, from outside our relationship rather than within.
Our wedding was an Extraordinary Form Tridentine High Mass, by which I mean: we’re Catholic, the mass was in Latin, and in the old rite.
Though when we got engaged in December of 2019 we didn’t know we’d be getting married during the time of Coronavirus and other turmoil, when such troubles arose, we didn’t delay our wedding. We decided it meant more to us to be married.
So as I’ve said, I’m married and my new last name is Dugan. It’s still taking some getting used to saying that, since I took great pride in my maiden name and I’ve only been married for a month yet. But I’m just as proud of my married name and I’m thrilled every time I get to write or say “Elizabeth Dugan” now.
On the way to becoming so, we encountered discouragement, as well as actual difficulties in getting married, thanks to all the restrictions that were in place (and still are to my knowledge).
One week before the wedding, our state’s governor declared that only 50 people were allowed in a building at a time. This essentially canceled our reception, since based on previous rules, we’d invited three times that many. We had only one week to find a solution. We also had a week to figure out who we could still invite to the reception (thankfully the ceremony itself was exempt from the regulation).
Thankfully, we have some of the most wonderful people on the planet as our friends, who came to our rescue, helping us decorate my parent’s house and set everything up. I’m unendingly grateful to all of them.
Though this was perhaps the biggest trial we had to face prior to the wedding, we came out of it on top. Our reception was possibly the most wonderful we could have had, outside of being able to have all of our loved ones there. This may have been one of the worst obstacles in our path, but there were others too.
My husband’s family and mine live across the country from each other. And the wedding was to take place closer to mine. This meant that there were many of my husband’s family members who would have had difficultly traveling so far, even without fear of the virus, restrictions, or other problems due to it. In fact, many of his family members, and even some of mine, were unable to attend at all because of it.
And still we chose to get married.
I tell you all of this for a few reasons. Simply because there is turmoil in the world is no reason to stuff yourself in a hole and avoid doing the things that are the most important, even if they “won’t be what you wanted” or “how you imagined”. I don’t say this to belittle anyone’s struggles. Quite the opposite, as I empathize in the extreme. However, I do say this to remind you that there are far more important things in life than having everyone you know see you make vows to the person you love most in this world. I am more pleased that I married my husband when I did, rather than wait in uncertainty for things to “return to normal.”
Don’t put these things off, simply because they’re hard or they’re not going to be what you expected.
I also say this because I received many reactions, even and especially from strangers in regards to our wedding continuing, regardless of the hardships. There were so many people who seemed amazed and even uplifted by the fact that our wedding went on even during all of this madness in the world right now.
My husband and I are desperately in love and I’d like to think it’s easy to see. There were a few people, particularly some we encountered on our honeymoon who were uplifted by a win for love, during coronavirus.
When you do your best to follow the Will of God, He’ll give you the peace you need to accomplish what he’s asked of you. Since my husband and I met, we’ve made a point to pray together daily. We constantly seek after God’s Will in our lives.
And now here we are, married and couldn’t be happier. So here’s my advice to you.
Pray, don’t wait, and don’t worry. I know it’s cliche, but give your troubles to God. Put your hand in His and He’ll guide you where you need to go, through hardships and turmoil perhaps, but the destination? It’s worth every struggle.