Tag: wedding

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Is 2020 the Worst Year Ever?

On By Elizabeth Dugan1 Comment

A cliche title this year, I know.

But we’ve had other “worst years” before. There were plenty of people who hated 2016, whether for the political climate or the fact that there were clowns running around frightening people. Or maybe they just had a bad year, everything seemed to go wrong for them.

2020 has been a similar – if not worse – year for most people. But let’s spend a few minutes to think about why.

A global virus hit and regardless of your political opinion about how it has been handled, it has drastically affected people’s lives in various ways. Some people have lost loved ones, many people have lost their livelihood in the form of their job or their business, and all of our lives have been made complicated by the way this situation has been handled.

On top of that, a hurricane has devastated a large portion of Louisiana, my home state (though I’m not currently living there and am not personally affected). I personally know many people who have endured damage to their home and had to see their hometown largely reduced to rubble in some areas. Hurricane Laura was devastating, y’all. Please pray for Louisiana and send help if you can.

But there have also been other issues this year.

The spring semester of everyone’s school year had to move online. This caused problems for many teachers, students, and parents, as we all struggled to cope with the change. I was affected by this myself, experiencing my last semester of formal classes as a graduate student this way. I was also a teacher’s assistant and had responsibility to my students as well, so I experienced the issue from both sides of the school dynamic.

Many people’s weddings have been postponed or effectively cancelled as a result of some of the other events of the year, mainly the COVID regulations. My own wedding (particularly the wedding reception) was nearly cancelled as a result of our governor’s mandates.

There has been more than our fair share of stress going around this year. The fact that we were isolated at home only increased our consumption of media, including news, which I believe largely hurt more than helped us. Some news is necessary, but we were cooped up in our houses for weeks, even months, with really only the internet and our immediate family members to distract us. Of course we’re going to end up reading the news more than usual. Many of us were scared and hoped it would bring consolation. When in actuality, I believe it simply increased the mental burden we were all already carrying.

There were protests, which turned to riots in some cases. I’m a supporter of the right to peacefully protest. It’s riots I have an issue with. Just because you have a grievance, even a legitimate grievance, doesn’t give you the right to take it out on others or their property. Regardless of the reasons they had for rioting, there was still fear and destruction that resulted from rioters’s actions. This didn’t help with the overall climate of stress and fear we were all already experiencing.

This seems like a perfect storm right? 2020 MUST be the worst year ever.

Some may not like what I’m about to say. I don’t say it to belittle your struggles or to remind you of the despair that has knocked on the door of many of our heart’s this year. Remember I say it out of a position of hopefulness.

As far as the human race goes, we’ve seen a lot of “worst years”. This wasn’t the first and won’t be the last. There are plenty of places to look for these other terrible years.

Every year is the worst year if you consider abortion, thousands of babies are killed every day, every month, every year.

World War II was devastating for everyone involved. There were countless deaths of soldiers and civilians on all sides of the war. There was also the Holocaust during WWII, when millions of people were killed in concentration camps.

There’s been genocides and wars across the past centuries, almost since humanity came into existence.

Christians were massacred by Romans in the early years of the Church, mirroring Christ’s own death.

Our lives have always been hard, in varying degrees, across the entirety of human history.

I don’t say this to scare you. I say this to inspire and encourage you. The human race has experienced so much trouble, hurt, fear, and death. This isn’t the first “worst year”, but it is OUR “worst year” and that’s okay. Because guess what the human race has also been doing all this time?

Surviving, improving, learning. If we let it, trials and terror can teach us. OR we can let it rule our lives. We can either let it cause us to despair or bring us closer to God and make us better people.

But also: beauty and good can still exist during times of great tribulation.

I got married to the love of my life, surrounded by friends and family. We have a beautiful new home and are making our life together. I’ve seen others of my friends getting married as well.

My cousin and several of my friends have had children during all of this. New little babies, bundles of joy, which brighten the worlds of all who get to see them, especially during these hard times.

Love, children, sunshine, flowers, and beauty all still exist.

We can let 2020 be the worst year ever if we want to. Or we can put our lives in God’s hands and choose to focus on good instead of evil. Just because there are bad things in the world, doesn’t mean they have to rule our lives and condemn our hearts to despair. We can do what is required of us to get through, pray, and help each other instead.

God gives true peace and joy if you turn to Him, no matter what hardships you may be mired in. And there is incessant beauty in His creation to remind you of His Providence.

Really this article should be titled “Finding Good in 2020”.

I leave you with a quote from St. Joan of Arc: “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” We were born in our time for a reason. We are all meant to be here. I think that is a very encouraging thought. As another wise – though fictional – person has said, “All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given us.”

Stay joyful and I pray God blesses you with the consolations you need in this difficult year.

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Love – During Coronavirus

On By Elizabeth DuganLeave a comment

For those of you who know me, you may be aware I got married one month ago. The road to marriage for us has been a wonderful one, though not without its obstacles, from outside our relationship rather than within.

Our wedding was an Extraordinary Form Tridentine High Mass, by which I mean: we’re Catholic, the mass was in Latin, and in the old rite.

Though when we got engaged in December of 2019 we didn’t know we’d be getting married during the time of Coronavirus and other turmoil, when such troubles arose, we didn’t delay our wedding. We decided it meant more to us to be married.

So as I’ve said, I’m married and my new last name is Dugan. It’s still taking some getting used to saying that, since I took great pride in my maiden name and I’ve only been married for a month yet. But I’m just as proud of my married name and I’m thrilled every time I get to write or say “Elizabeth Dugan” now.

On the way to becoming so, we encountered discouragement, as well as actual difficulties in getting married, thanks to all the restrictions that were in place (and still are to my knowledge).

One week before the wedding, our state’s governor declared that only 50 people were allowed in a building at a time. This essentially canceled our reception, since based on previous rules, we’d invited three times that many. We had only one week to find a solution. We also had a week to figure out who we could still invite to the reception (thankfully the ceremony itself was exempt from the regulation).

Thankfully, we have some of the most wonderful people on the planet as our friends, who came to our rescue, helping us decorate my parent’s house and set everything up. I’m unendingly grateful to all of them.

Though this was perhaps the biggest trial we had to face prior to the wedding, we came out of it on top. Our reception was possibly the most wonderful we could have had, outside of being able to have all of our loved ones there. This may have been one of the worst obstacles in our path, but there were others too.

My husband’s family and mine live across the country from each other. And the wedding was to take place closer to mine. This meant that there were many of my husband’s family members who would have had difficultly traveling so far, even without fear of the virus, restrictions, or other problems due to it. In fact, many of his family members, and even some of mine, were unable to attend at all because of it.

And still we chose to get married.

I tell you all of this for a few reasons. Simply because there is turmoil in the world is no reason to stuff yourself in a hole and avoid doing the things that are the most important, even if they “won’t be what you wanted” or “how you imagined”. I don’t say this to belittle anyone’s struggles. Quite the opposite, as I empathize in the extreme. However, I do say this to remind you that there are far more important things in life than having everyone you know see you make vows to the person you love most in this world. I am more pleased that I married my husband when I did, rather than wait in uncertainty for things to “return to normal.”

Don’t put these things off, simply because they’re hard or they’re not going to be what you expected.

I also say this because I received many reactions, even and especially from strangers in regards to our wedding continuing, regardless of the hardships. There were so many people who seemed amazed and even uplifted by the fact that our wedding went on even during all of this madness in the world right now.

My husband and I are desperately in love and I’d like to think it’s easy to see. There were a few people, particularly some we encountered on our honeymoon who were uplifted by a win for love, during coronavirus.

When you do your best to follow the Will of God, He’ll give you the peace you need to accomplish what he’s asked of you. Since my husband and I met, we’ve made a point to pray together daily. We constantly seek after God’s Will in our lives.

And now here we are, married and couldn’t be happier. So here’s my advice to you.

Pray, don’t wait, and don’t worry. I know it’s cliche, but give your troubles to God. Put your hand in His and He’ll guide you where you need to go, through hardships and turmoil perhaps, but the destination? It’s worth every struggle.